I’m simply thankful for all those who have impacted my life thus far.

Each person I’ve come to encounter has left me with something I can take away. Not things that are physical, or tangible, but things that you can carry with you no matter where you are. This life has brought me through many joys and many challenges, and I have yet to fully come to understanding the nature of men.Our society today would say that I am referring to only males, but I mean those of us who are living, breathing, thinking, inspired, made-in-God’s-image, people. Which if you didn’t pick up means you. I don’t understand how we are able to grow so close with one another and so quickly cast one another aside. I don’t understand why we find the answer to stopping ridicule is ridiculing someone else. (it’s ridiculous…buh dum czshhh) I don’t quite understand why it is culturally unacceptable to type the word ‘don’t’ in something meant to be meaningful. But most of all I don’t understand why it is so easy to hold on to the negative aspects in our lives.

Looking back makes me realize that we often see regrets much more clearly than joys and successes. In ANY other area of life, it is understood that to build a better future in ANYTHING, you must realize the good moments had and try to have more of those. But, in our day to day, ‘trying to make our lives as great as they can be,’ we hold on to the negatives, hoping that if we can remember those wrongs, we won’t do them again. This seems to me to be a bit of a misconception. Simply put, why don’t we look at our failures, of which we have been forgiven*, and try to do as much of the opposite of those things as possible? My asterisk was for those of you who aren’t forgiven, I highly encourage you to seek it out and obtain it in whatever way you can. Moving on, I came to a conclusion about the way many of people think.

I realized this:

Harboring regret drowns out the joys of our past.

So many situations I have been beyond blessed to be a part of, I only look back on to see the bruises, scars, and pains. In doing so I forget that I have since HEALED from said bruises, scars, and pains. I convince myself that I am not healed, and that something about me must be wrong. This train of thought is brought on by one thing, and that is our own promotion of ourselves. To be the best for everyone else, we must be perfect to ourselves. Which we will never be. It is time, to move on. To pick up the memories of our past and discover the joy hidden in the cracks. Let that joy contagiously jump to whatever your present situation is, and you might start to see how quickly joy will infiltrate every part of who you are- past, present, and future.

The God I serve asks us to repent from the wrongs we have done. Repent means to turn around. But I often forget than in turning away from one thing, I must turn to another. Turning to the in-explainable grace of  God allows me to see that I don’t have to provide an answer for the things I’ve done wrong. Turning allows me to see that God gives me an answer for where I am now, and that is that grace is present in my life.

Transforming, life-altering, unfathomable grace.

Living today is about realizing grace. I heard a pastor say recently something to the effect that, “We try and row our way out of life’s storms, and we are rowing so hard and fast that we don’t look down to see that we are surrounded by a sea of grace. Tip the boat over, and learn to swim, instead of fighting your way out of your past sins and failures. Jesus already fought for you.”

I recently wrote a song about this grace, about this God, about my reason for living. I’ve typed out the words below.

Grace is readily available. Choose it, and Live today.

 

In the midst of

the darkest of

nights I have found

You’re holding to me

In spite of my rejection

The Word of the Lord

says the lost can be found

I don’t know why

I’ve been so misdirected

 

To think that the things

in this infinite space

were made for my workings

to move and arrange

 

that they might be perfectly

aligned for me

that I might plot the course

of the storms and the sea

But you bring me to grace

in the midst of the storm

to discover my place

and to rest in Your arms

 

All that I’m given is

a boat and a map

to be held up

and to know where I’m at

But not where I’m goin’

No, not where I’ll end

Just some simple instructions

on how to begin

 

As I sail along

I keep looking back

Hoping to fix

All of my many failures

But the map that I have

says to not turn around

but to trust in the words

of a wise old sailor

 

He understands the ocean

and the waves that it brings

But gives us strength to press on

and strength to believe

 

He says that we’ll be

alright and alive

If we let go of our past

and let grace in our lives

 

Now that I’ve sailed along

for a couple of years

I know that I can

Trust the words of the sailor

He taught me to let

the wind catch my sails

to trust that the mast

will hold through forever
Because it’s been fixed

by it’s craftsman’s hands

It will one day bring me

back to the land

From which I was thought of

and loved at first sight

My home with my savior

The king of the light.

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